Certainly I have been searching for my soul in years past. So much soul that well I think the street pod fairy gave me a big kick pre-Christmas 2011 right out of New York City. [who'd a thunk that I'd get the same kick -- see "A Christmas i-tune by what in the Dickens".]
Its good, its all good, I muttered embodied with anger at the very idea of it.
I shared most of this on my blog in 2011. People sent me their prayers, their kind thoughts and tried to aid me, worried about me.
In 2012 I said I release you from my problem to all. I tried to put a lot of this mess in draft as it will have its place somewhere and sometime else.
Basically I came to the conclusion that the health care in our country is not prepared for what I have. I should not expect them to be. Unemployed, uninsured, not of elite wealthiness materially. Those are my problems, not my nation's. I did all kinds of research. Could I have a virus, fungus, a moving whatever (anything that moves on your head research :).
I did find thought that my nation was highly and expertly prepared to charge me for any care or thought they bestowed upon me. Sometimes triple billing me and continuing to bill me though I had paid them.
I found there are thousands of people that have far unfriendly things attacking them on the outside. Is mine just inside? That they fought the health care in this country and the solution was some drug that is used for acne. The diagnosis would not be a standard thing to request as it doesn't follow the protocol, the circles and maps that health care employees are trained and ordered to follow in this country where insurance companies are King.
So I release them. I do not expect to get health care. I expect to continue the assortment of holistic care that I have DIY'd. Mainly I am cutting cords. I didn't know I was doing that.
I had been feeling this fear after a San Francisco company had called me about a job. They have a perfect job for me as far as my skill set, experience and capability.
Was the fear that followed good for me? Will it consume me? I know the next step for me is westward ho! San Francisco. I do have to be careful where I step though. There is plenty of work for me in New York City right now. Even a half-step up would help me very much right now. I went back for a rethink that resulted in several more applications to companies headquartered in San Francisco today. I add value to them in a different way. Better.
Then I came across this YouTube presentation by Gabrielle Bernstein, Yes, that's it! She has got it! "Cutting the Cord".
